The It
by Ignorant Sparrow
Summary: It would have changed everything. Would have...
1. Chapter 1

Lin sat upright on her bed at southern water tribe. Katara's guest room was very comfortable and warm. Lin wondered how she got here. She remembered Katara saying she couldn't restore Korra's bending. She remembered watching Korra stormed out of the door. She remembered feeling a bit dizzy, she remembered taking few wavy steps towards the chair she had been sitting on and that was it. Now she was on a bed, freed from the armor completely. Lin looked at her torso. She wore a white comfy tunic. Her arms and ribs been bandaged. Katara must have healed her broken ribs and cuts. Lin drew in a steadying breath, closing her eyes and started to let it go slowly. Suddenly, she stopped. Everything around her, stilled. Her eyes flew opened and Lin stared at the white blanket, eyes wide and breath hitched. _'She'd have found out!'_

Katara entered the room carrying a steaming bowl of soup. "You are awake!" She said placing the bowl on the bed side cabinet and sitting on the bed, next to Lin.

"How long had I been passed out?" Lin asked avoiding Katara's gaze and busying herself in pulling on the pakra that lay next to her.

"All night." Katara replied.

"How's Korra?" Lin asked taking the bowl of soup from the cabinet and opening its lid.

"She's OK. She got her bending back." Katara said taking a rather big handkerchief out of a drawer of the bedside cabinet. It's a good thing she did, because Lin, in her bewilderment, choked and spluttered soup all over her pakra front.

"h-how?" She stuttered. "You said-"

"I did nothing." Katara explained, taking the bowl from Lin and cleaning the stained pakra gently. "Korra found Aang; Her spiritual side; finally; and he has restored her bending."

Lin took few deep breaths and calmed herself down. "Do you think-"

"She will restore your bending. But Lin, you are not strong enough yet." Katara said, taking the bowl of soup in to her hand and bringing a spoonful to Lin's lips.

"I can eat m-" Lin opened her mouth to protest but Katara took the opportunity to shove the spoon in to her mouth. Lin sighed, knowing there is no point arguing with the mother-hen.

Katara watched as Lin slowly swallowed the soup. They were quiet for a while as Lin finished the soup. Katara gently shoved the last spoonful in to Lin's mouth and put down the bowl. She poured a glass of water and handed it to Lin, not before trying to wipe her mouth with the handkerchief.

"Aunt katara!" Lin pouted, jerking her head backwards.

For the second time that morning, Lin spluttered the content of her mouth in to her pakra front as she coughed violently when Katara asked her next question. "When were you going to tell me?"

Lin hastily grabbed the handkerchief from Katara and cleaned the mess she just made. "Tell you what?" She asked in an innocent tone, being careful to avoid the water-bender's gaze.

"Lin!" Katara prompted. "Is that why you've never let me check you or heal you for fifteen years? Was it the reason for your long vacation to Goalin? I can't believe Toph didn't tell me!"

With the mentioning of her mother's name Lin looked up. "Don't blame her. I made her promise not to tell anyone."

Katara's hand found its way to clasp Lin's face. "Why child? We are family! If I knew I'd have don-"

"No. It was too late. It was my fault. I let it happen." Lin said sternly. "It's history, aunt Katara. It died because I was not strong enough to be the mother it deserved."

There was a loud clatter from the door that made both Lin and Katara jump. Tenzin was standing under the door frame. His hands frozen in the mid air like he was holding something. The source of the clatter; Lin's repaired armor; lay scattered on the wooden floor.


	2. Chapter 2

Lin needed to think quickly. This was one of those emergency situations. She had to act before things get any worse.

"Tenzin!" She said taking a look at her armor on the floor.

Tenzin's eyes darted from Lin to Katara to Lin, his gaze extremely nervous and frightened. "Wha- what were you talking about? Was It-?"

Lin let herself smirk, confident and believable smirk. "Your mother just learned that Flopsy died." She said giving Katara a look.

"Flopsy?" Tenzin mumbled dazedly.

"My pet pig-rabbit. She was rather fond of It." Lin explained, earning a disapproving look from Katara.

"I didn't know you were mothering pet pig-rabbit". Tenzin mumbled yet again.

Lin swallowed. "I- I was very fond of it, Very adorable, that Flopsy. But, couldn't take very good care of it because of work. It's been few years now" She babbled.

Tenzin wasn't persuaded, but he did not press the subject. He gathered the parts of the armor and took them to the wall cabinet. Lin watched as he silently stacked them inside.

"I'm sorry about your pig-rabbit. How are you feeling now?" He asked in a far-off voice, walking towards the bed where Lin sat with Katara.

"Fine" Lin said quickly. "Thanks for repairing my armor."

"It was the least I could do." Tenzin placed a hand on her shoulder. "Rest, Lin!"

Katara watched as Tenzin walked out of the room. "You should tell him. He should know this!"

"Aunt Katara, it's been fifteen years. Just let it go" Lin said.

"No! This is about a child Lin." Katara insisted. "Your child, and His!"

"It never was born." Lin said in frustration. "It died."

"Tell me how!" Katara demanded.

"I'm tired." Lin said. "Can we not discuss this?"

"No" Katara was at the verge of tears. "I know I'm fifteen years too late, but I want to know what happened to you"

Lin sighed and stared out of the window. "It was already three months due when I knew I was pregnant." She started, keeping her voice steady and emotionless. "Mom was the first to notice a second heartbeat in me. As soon as I knew, I came running to- to-" Lin stammered.

"To tell Tenzin?" Katara helped as she moved her hand to rest on Lin's knee.

"When I knew about 'It', I thought 'It' would turn the tables around, that we'd have a fresh start. 'It' was what Tenzin always wanted." Lin kept going, not betraying any emotion still. "But when I got to the Island, well…"

"Lin…" Katara mumbled.

"They were already together and Tenzin ended things between us before I could say anything." Lin said shrugging her shoulders.

"How did-?" Katara swallowed her question as Lin threw the blankets away and got off the bed. Her left arm snaked around her ribcage as she slowly dragged her feet to stand near the window.

"One week later It died. Cause of abortion, mother's depression, lack of meals, lack of rest, and excess strain of muscles." Lin said as if she was reading out of an _Autopsy Report. "I threw myself to work because I wanted to- to-… 'It' paid for it. Mom threatened to fire me from the police force if I did not take some time out from work. She dragged me to Goalin. It died just the night we reached the Beifong estate. It was my fault."_

_Katar walked up to Lin and drew her in to a hug. Lin let Katara hold her. She needed that hug badly. It had been fifteen years. Yet, the memory still fresh and bleeding. A muffled sniff made them break apart. Pema was standing under the door frame this time, one hand covering her mouth and the other holding a bundle of clothes, apparently for Lin. _


	3. Chapter 3

For a moment all three women stayed rooted to the spots. Pema was the first to move. She turned to leave as one tear escaped her eye. With a speed that was unrealistic for an injured human, Lin crossed the room and grabbed Pema by upper arm. She pushed the younger woman in to the room and closed the door. That little super speed took a toll on her. Lin sank to the floor, down the door, breathing heavily. Her forehead was wrinkled with pain and both her hands wrapped tightly around her ribs.

Katara rushed to her side. So did Pema. "Two ribs were broken; you're not supposed to move in such a hurry yet Lin!" Katara said, using her healing powers to ease the pain.

"Forget what you heard." Lin mumbled through gritted teeth. "Don't tell Tenzin. You can't tell him. There is no point"

"Stay still!" Pema snapped; something she never had tried on the Chief before. "You are going to hurt yourself even more"

"Give me your word." Lin demanded, this time trying to stand up. Pema grabbed Lin by shoulders and firmly yet gently pushed her back to the sitting position. "Stay put Lin, or I'll use chi-blocking to paralyze you temporarily." She said in a calm voice. "We can discuss this later."

"There's nothing to discuss!" Lin said irately. She was a bit surprised by Pema's threat. "I'm simply asking you to forget what you heard. It's the best for- for all of us. I'm sure you could understand"

Before Pema could answer, Katara quipped in. "Alright. It's OK for you to move but try not to tire yourself out. Not in the slightest."

Lin nodded. Pema helped Lin to a chair and gathered the bundle of clothes she had dropped earlier. "I got you a jacket, a tunic and pair of pants. And boots too." She said placing them in the wall cupboard.

"Thank you." Lin said looking at her pointedly.

Pema took a one last long look at the ex-chief and left the room.

"Aunt Katara, I do not want anyone else to know what I told you." Lin said. "Make sure your daughter-in-law doesn't spread the word."

Katara knew there is so little she can do to stop Pema. She may not look it but she was as stubborn as Lin, in her own way. But she did not word her thought.

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Three hours later, Lin, wrapped in a long black jacket, slowly stepped out to find Korra. She did not want to stay in the South Pole. She need to get back to her solitude as quick as possible, before things get awkward and before she is forced to relive the terrible memories, again.

Korra was outside her home, with Tenzin. They both approached Lin hurriedly. "Shouldn't you be resting?" Tenzin asked. "How are you now chief?" Korra quipped.

"I'm fine" She said to both of them "Korra, I was wondering…" Lin stuttered struggling to choose words to form a request without sounding pathetic.

"I can." Korra said confidently. "But are you sure you're ready. We'd probably ask Katara first."

"She thinks it's fine" Lin said quickly. "I'm planning to go back as soon as possible. So, if it's OK with you…"

Korra looked at Tenzin who had an empathetic look on his somber face. He nodded.

"OK then. I'll meet you at the stupa in one hour. I need to meditate and collect my… hmm what should I call it? Spirit? Wisdom? Oh I know! Avatarness!." Korra said excitedly. Lin raised a brow at her excitement but did make any remark. Korra started running towards the Polar-Bear Paddocks.

"She seems to be in high spirits!" Lin said.

"She was feeling terrible when Amon took her bending. It must be incredible to have it restored." Tenzin said, looking at Korra's departing form.

"Must be!" Lin mumbled in a barely audible whisper. Tenzin's eyes quickly darted back to Lin who stood few feet away from him, hands in her jacket pockets and looking paler than she usually does.

"I'm sorry Lin. I didn't mean to be insensitive." Tenzin said, taking a step towards her. "Thank you! Old friend." He threw an arm around her shoulders and gave her a friendly squeeze. "You saved my family."

"It was the right thing to do." Lin said. "Don't mention it Tenzin"

Tenzin did feel her coldness to his friendly embrace. But she wasn't protesting. At least, that's a plus.

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Korra's eyes gleamed as she concentrated on Lin's chi flow. Everyone gathered to watch – courtesy of Bolin's big mouth, watched as Lin move earth once again with incredible precision and power.

"Thank you!" Lin said to Korra, as she let the pillars of rock fall back in to place. Tenzin ascended the stairs to tell Korra how proud he was of her. Lin brushed passed him and retreated towards Katara's home. Pema stopped her on the way. "I cannot do this." She said abruptly. "It's too much bare. I cannot peacefully live the rest of my life knowing I am the cause of – of-"

Lin was dumbfounded. She didn't know what to say. "It's no one's fault but mine." She finally said looking over Pema's bowed head. "I suggest you forget about it."

"But, but, if I hadn't- if you had a chance to tell-" Pema stuttered.

"It's been fifteen years Pema. There is no point wondering about 'what if's" Lin said starting to walk away. But Pema grabbed her upper arm and Lin stopped. "I will tell Tenzin, Lin. I need his support to live through this. I'm so sorry for what happened."

Lin fully turned around and leaned forward to insist on keeping it a secret. "Don't you realize that-" But she was interrupted by Tenzin himself who landed softly on the snow. "What's wrong?" he asked, looking from Pema's tear stained face to Lin's nervous one. "What is the matter Pema?"

"It's just-" Lin tried to come up with a quick cover story. "The day you break up with her she came to tell you that she was pregnant." Pema said in a throaty voice. Tenzin was dumbfounded. Lin shook her head in disappointment and started to take long strides towards Katara's home. "It was three months due. The baby died after a week, because of- of- we killed It Tenzin. We made her so weak that she wasn't strong enough to support It!" Pema broke down completely. Tenzin was rooted to the spot. His eyes captured Lin's departing form. His felt Pema's tears staining his robes. His brain processed Lin's words 'It died because I was not strong enough to be the mother it deserved'.


	4. Chapter 4

Lin didn't slow her pace but change the direction she was going. Instead of going to Katara's, she headed to the dockyard. She almost made it to the entrance, almost. A powerful gust of wind made her topple over and fell backward. A blur of scarlet and yellow caught her before she hit the floor, and before she knew it, that same blur was flying away with her.

Tenzin flew away from the town, away from the people towards the cliffs. His mind was oddly empty. He didn't hear Lin's "Put me down"s or "What the heck are you doing"s. He landed on the cliff side of the South Pole and set Lin on her feet. His grey eyes fixed somewhere on the snow that crumbled under their weight, both his hands tightly gripping Lin's newly healed shoulders. He was breathing heavily and apparently at a loss of words.

Lin sighed and shrugged Tenzin's hands off. She walked away to the edge of the cliff. Her gaze focused on the far horizon. She didn't speak. She had nothing to say. They stood there as the chocking silence engulfed them.

"Why?" Tenzin asked after a while. His voice was hoarse and trembling.

The question almost made Lin laugh. "why?" was that even a question? She didn't bother even to look at him. She stood at her spot, thinking of nothing. Days of answering Tenzin's personal questions were long gone. He should understand that.

A heavy hand landed on her shoulder and spun her around. Tenzin griped her upper arms tightly as he peeped in to her eyes, a glint of madness in his usually calm eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, shaking her a little.

Lin stumbled on her feet as Tenzin's hands tightened around her wounded upper arms. "You are hurting me, councilman."

Tenzin didn't seem to notice. "It was mine too." He said. "Why Lin?" Tenzin almost shouted.

That was it. Lin wasn't going to take all the pain and the blame for his actions. "Because, you never gave me a chance." She shot back. "Let go of me." Tenzin's grip on her loosened his head bowed and shoulders shook. Next moment, Lin found Tenzin in her arms, completely broken. He had thrown his arms around her and hidden his head in the crook of her neck. She stood there as a flag post as Tenzin wept to his heart's content. "I'm sorry, so sorry" He kept mumbling. "This is my fault. I made you suffer. I made _us_ suffer".

Lin finally gathered herself together and returned his embrace. "Let It go." She said, freeing herself from his weeping self and placing a hand on his shoulder. "You have the life you always wanted."

Tenzin looked at Lin with teary eyes. "It could have been here. It could have being driving me nuts like you used to. It could have had Its own sky bis-" Lin's hand covered Tenzin's mouth, silencing him.

She tried hard to stop the tears that started to gather in her eyes from falling down.

"It's not here Tenzin. It's gone. Let It rest." She said firmly.

Tenzin flung his arms around her once more and drew her in to a tight hug, placing a light kiss on her temple. Lin blinked, but did not protest. She felt him speak against her forehead. "I'm so sorry, so sorry. For you, for me, for our unborn!"

Lin sighed and freed herself again from his embrace. "I need to go back, I'm freezing." She said wrapping her arms around her upper body.

Been an Air nomad, Tenzin knew there was no point dwelling on the past and wondering about 'what could have been.' He knew he was facing the consequences of his own actions. But he couldn't stop himself from thinking of the It, how It could have changed everything. If he was a moment patient, It could still be here, calling him dad and Lin, mom! He knew he will not be able to move past this crushing feeling of guilt and sorrow. Every time he saw Lin, the feeling would magnify ten forth, reminding him how life could have been.

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A/N – Hi. Sorry I have to cut this short. Hope you liked 'The It'.


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